Bailout Check from Obama is in the Mail!!!

March 25, 2009 § 1 Comment

WooHOO!!!  Finally my bailout check is in the mail baby!!!  I even got a copy of it in my e-mail check it out:
 

AND what is even more exciting is that it came with a personal message about my check from the big man HIMSELF!!!  President Barack Hussein Obama:

Yo,

Look, it’s not your fault that Vegas is full of hookers and horse tracks. It’s human nature to want to poor your hard earned welfare check into a world promising the chance at riches gained for nothing, except of course lively hood and in some cases your soul.

Anyways, think of this as reparations, no matter what race you identify with, for the years of oppression by the government (namely the evil administration rhyming with push) that failed to provide you with everything you might want or need, as is your right to receive as an American citizen, and forcing you to work for your place in the world…sad really.

Enjoy and remember to spend it quick because those economic advisor guys say that the value of the dollar is dropping or something like that I wasn’t really listening. Good luck and God (if you believe in Him, if not disregard or enter in your personally favorite deity here) speed.

Peace,
Barack

AWESOME RIGHT?!?!  I know, I can’t wait to get my check…let’s see what shall I buy first…hmmm…I’ve got it!!!  I’m going to buy Guantanamo Bay and then give it back to all those nice criminals we’ve wrongly imprisoned there!!! (flashes from ‘Escape from L.A.’ flash before your eyes)

Can barely wait for my bailout check to arrive so I can wipe my @$$ with it,
~Steve

Go get your bailout check now!

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§ One Response to Bailout Check from Obama is in the Mail!!!

  • Joe says:

    I am very, very excited. [exclamation point omitted]. I am actually getting a large chunk from the Feds because I panicked when the market was spiriling downward and sold (at a loss) to pay-off "my American Dream" (and a handful of credit cards). I believe I am getting a check for $0.00 from the Golden State (misnomer?). I know that most of my peers (working middle-class slobs) are getting IOUs. At least something "is owed".

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