iPhone: Killing us all…one at a time

July 25, 2009 § Leave a comment

I called it…yep the iPhone is slowing programming itself into having actual Artificial Intelligence and it’s not long now before they begin to slowly cull the human race; turning those who fall into line into slaves…and killing the rest of us. . .(dramatic music here)

Chinese Worker Commits Suicide Over Missing iPhone Prototype

Chinese worker Sun Danyong was responsible for handling the prototypes of one of the world’s hottest products — the iPhone. When one of the gadgets went missing and his company began investigating him, he jumped off his apartment building and killed himself.

Sun’s job involved shipping iPhone prototypes to Apple. It was an extremely sensitive position for a company like Apple, known for shrouding its new product launches in secrecy and suspense — a strategy that’s consistently helped whip up the just-can’t-wait-to-buy-it feeling among consumers worldwide.

The paper’s account, which hasn’t been disputed by the companies, said: Sun reported on July 13 that he was missing one of the 16 fourth-generation iPhones in his possession. Foxconn security guards searched his apartment, detained him and beat him. In the early morning of July 16, a distraught Sun jumped from the 12th floor of his apartment building.

My theory???… Poor Sun Danyong stumbled upon the prototypes, all sitting around a poker table smoking cigars and talking about taking over the world, and accidentally dropped a chop stick due to his astonishment.  This alerted the prototypes to his presence and while he tried to run he just couldn’t get far enough away to out-distance the prototypes new “app”: Electronic Pulse Gun.  He never saw it coming and he had to be taken out before he could tell the masses of his discovery.

But I wonder…would anyone have believed him or would they have just brushed him off as one more youth huffing too much paint?  Sadly the world will never know and there is one less to fight for freedom against the oppression of the iPhone…

Going into hiding because the iPhones are monitoring the Net and will know I’ve uncovered their plot as soon as I post this,
~Steve

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