Billy Mays was doing Cocaine???

So, here is the big headline:

Autopsy: Cocaine contributed to Billy Mays’ death

Seriously?!?  I could have told you they were going to find SOMETHING in this guy!  Have you seen his commercials?  I mean, how is it possible to talk that fast and loud without a little something to give you that extra boost…he was always WAY too excited about those products…do you know what I mean?

Ok ok so he was very discrete about it, other than all the obvious signs, he was very clean cut, good looking and well built guy right?  Why would anyone question him?

But I say just take one look at his competition and take a good guess:

At first glance it might not SEEM like these guys were partying together…but now its OBVIOUS.  I mean look at the Sham Wow Guy (and yes that is his name)!  He looks like they picked him up off the street, needle still hanging out of his arm, and threw him in front of the camera.

Just picture this: Billy Mays is partying with this guy and he snorts up a giant line and finishes up with a SHAM WOW THAT IS GOOD SHIT!  Billy turns slowly, dramatically, inebriatedly and says…son, I’m gonna make you a star!!!

And the rest is history. . .

Going to start partying in the right places for careers sake,
~Steve